How to Feel LovedHow to Feel Loved

In this pioneering work, a renowned happiness scientist and a top relationship researcher draw on the science of happiness, love, and human connection to offer a powerful framework to help readers appreciate and nurture what makes them feel truly loved.
How to Feel Loved by Sonja Lyubomirsky and Harry Reis examines the distinction between being loved and feeling loved. Drawing on research in psychology and relationship science, the authors argue that emotional fulfillment depends less on performing lovable behaviors and more on mutual vulnerability, responsiveness, and authentic connection. They introduce five relational mindsets--Sharing, Listening-to-Learn, Radical Curiosity, Open-Heart, and Multiplicity--and describe a dynamic interpersonal process they call the "Relationship Sea-Saw." The book applies these principles to romantic, familial, and friendship contexts, offering a research-based framework for fostering deeper emotional connection and well-being.